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[weenwoon]

HYTHLODAEUS

---

OFFICE 413, BUREAU OF THE ARCHITECT, AMAUROT
LEAVE MAIL ON HEAD

© EFRYNDIEL

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action; > Traumatize Hythlodaeus Route

[selfconcept]

[ aka fuck timelines

Hien came back from checking out things in the PokeMart, because sometimes Lemonade is sold out for whatever reason and that's just what he's in the mood to drink. Not to mention the pokedolls that sometimes captures his attention. Despite having several talks with Joss about the past and what happened that is relevant to Hythlo, Hien never talks about it, and has been treating him the same as ever. Nothing changed.

The first thing he says upon coming back: ]

I want to eat belgian waffles in that cafe place for breakfast one day.

[ And if there's anything Hythlo might have learned from all the days they slept in the same room, it's that Hien never gets up in the morning unless there's some sort of crisis or appointment that he has to attend. And when he DOES wake up somewhere around noon, it's always accompanied with a large amount of coffee.

This is why breakfast at the cafe is a distant dream. /s ]

WAITING FOR DECEMBER MEMORY REGAIN THREAD TO TRAUMATIZE HIEN INSTEAD >8T

[weenwoon]

[Hythlodaeus looks up from his reading and--can't help laughing at that sudden admission.]

Oh goodness. Shall I carry you there while you sleep? Mayhaps the smell of their coffee would wake you up before the waffles go cold!

he'll be fine!!!

[selfconcept]

I'm a heavy sleeper that even the smell of coffee cannot wake.

[ He shouldn't sound so proud about it, but his voice carries a certain tone to it that sounds similar. ]

But I'd like that. Maybe. It seems like a good place to invite someone, right?

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo narrows his eyes curiously. Oho, is that what he thinks that is?]

Oh?~ You've finally found someone you wish to take on a date? Do tell me everything, Hien!

[selfconcept]

No date.

[ Much to Hythlo's possible disappointment. ]

I was talking to Joscelaint, who was thinking about how to make it up to Sagi. So I told him to take Sagi to that place to eat.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo makes a disappointed "aw" noise, but that next sentence confuses him.]

Make it up to him?.. Did something happen between them?

[selfconcept]

He said that he probably upset him.

[ No further details, because it's between them and that's all Hien knows about it. ]

They can probably work it out. Worried?

[weenwoon]

Upset him?..

[Hythlo frowns. What is there that Joss could ever do that would upset someone?]

A little, yes. Sagi is not one to get upset easily, nor is master Joscelaint someone who looks to hurt people... Even unintentionally. He barely ever speaks.

[selfconcept]

I think the same, so it was probably an accident that occurred between them. You don't have to have the intention to hurt to hurt someone.

[ Such is life... he goes to sit on the bed and then flop down on it on his side. ]

They'll be fine. I'm sure.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo nods, a little awkwardly. His own relationship with Sagi is... complicated, to say the least.]

...I wish we were kinder to Sagi.

[If his hunch is right... Joss might have seen something he should not have, much as Hythlodaeus had done.]

[selfconcept]

You're not?

[ He looks up at where Hythlo is while taking off his mask. He's indoors and no one else will come in aside from Fai, so this is fine. ]

What happened between you two anyway? I'm sure you tried telling him how you felt from that one time we talked about in the forest.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo looks away, the expression on his face dangerously close to the one he usually has while dissociating.]

...I did. We... talked about it, and seemed to mend our bond. But...

[He brings up a hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes.]

There was another--argument of sorts, mayhaps I should say, that we had later. And I keep thinking that none of this would have happened in the first place if I hadn't regained my sight. It's brought me nearly naught but mistery in all my time here.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien slowly sits up and goes over to Hythlo. He has distance problems himself, and is sometimes keen on other people's body language because he always watches over his own, so what Hythlo is doing right now is sort of alarming, in a sense. He sits next to him. It's not like he can just tell Hythlo that he can just ignore it or pretend he hasn't seen it. "Ignorance is bliss", is what one of his other selves would say because he has a similar problem, and thinks of ignorance as a privilege that he can't obtain. He wonders if Hythlo feels the same. ]

Was it because you were concerned about him?

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo shakes his head slowly, and it's another alarming sign that he doesn't lean onto Hien like he normally would, instead seeming to retreat into himself more.]

...Quite the opposite, to tell you the truth. He... came across me when I was creating the memorial for master Atsushi. We spoke... of death, and cruelty, and other such things. Much like that argument you and I had, but resolved a lot more gently.

[He looks down at the floor.]

Then we decided to speak of our worlds. And... one topic led to another, I suppose.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien looks at Hythlo's face with a concerned expression and reaches out to hold his hand and lightly squeezes it. ]

Do you regret it? Talking about those things with him.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo squeezes his hand weakly in return.]

I... In a way, yes. It helped me feel better. But I should not have spoken of it with someone as young as him.

[His grip grows tighter.]

I speak all the time of not wanting to inflict pain onto others, yet what do I do instead? I am but a hypocrite.

[selfconcept]

Well... you're right though.

[ But before Hythlo gets into an even more depressive slump, let Hien clarify. ]

It's not like you wanted to, even if it happens anyway. You're not a hypocrite when it comes to that. Besides... it was an emotional moment for you, I'm sure. You were making a memorial for Atsushi, and talking about sensitive topics with Sagi.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo smiles, sadly, and shakes his head.]

Yet I am much older than him. I should know better. What manner of a mentor am I to keep forcing him to be my emotional support, whether intentionally or not?

[selfconcept]

Are you really forcing him to?

[ He would also like to add that age doesn't do anything, as evidenced by a lot of old people who seemingly never learn their lesson. But... that's neither here nor there right now. ]

[weenwoon]

He is a good person. If I end up crying in front of him, of course he will try to console me. I feel as though I take advantage of his good nature, even if unwillingly.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien slightly tilts his head. ]

So... if I cried in front of you, would that count as me taking advantage of your good nature because I know you would try to comfort me?

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo startles at that and directs Hien a disbelieving look.]

Of course not! 'Tis simply... I feel I must needs be his caretaker. Sagi is yet but a child.

[... And, as it often happens, his mind turns somewhere else.]

... Can you cry?

[selfconcept]

... I don't know.

[ It's not that he says that as a rather cop-out answer on purpose, but Hien genuinely doesn't know if he can cry anymore, and the uncertainty shows on his face. If he can, he would rather not test it since the events that precede his tears would probably be absolutely devastating from how dull his emotions feel most of the time. ]

I'm glad you don't see me as a kid anymore, at least.

[weenwoon]

[Hythlo tilts his head, confused.]

Hien... I stopped seeing you as a child the moment you said you were not one. Did I somehow give the impression that I thought you to be one still this whole time?

[selfconcept]

... It just feels like that sometimes, but I don't know why.

[ Anyway, this... isn't about him. ]

People can be stronger than you think, regardless of age. I think Sagi has that potential.