[He stares at the floor again, stunned by the enormity of the thought. Did that offend him? He's not sure at all how he feels about anything anymore. But at the same time...
Hythlo shakes his head, brings up a hand to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his clothes.]
It... It would make sense. For so long I asked myself why it was that the world turned upon us. What we've done to deserve all the suffering we've gone through, the fate that we barely escaped. But... if there was some will behind it...
[It makes it easier, so much easier... if much harder in other ways. Hythlodaeus goes cold with the realization that maybe--maybe preventing the Final Days would not be enough, if there is something that aims to destroy their world. Once again, would it not be simply dealing with consequences and not the root cause?
He raises his head to look up at Hien, breathing slowly despite the thundering of his heart. In a strange sense, he looks more alive than he has ever done.]
[ Hien exists as an enabler. He's usually all for supporting people and helping them along in doing what they do, but there's something about this that doesn't sit well with him. Granted, Hythlo now has a new possibility opened up to him, and that's whether someone had manipulated an entire species to die out.
...
He's not sure if this is a good thing. Hien actually looks concerned. ]
Hien, I was... content to just let myself fade away eventually, mayhaps a tad more happily than I would have done otherwise. Or I would have done--something to try and save my world. But what if you are right? What if preventing the Final Days won't change anything? What would be the point of all my effort, then? Of all our efforts? I wish to know the truth. No, I need to know it. It may be horrible. It may break me. But the truth is better than this--this nebulous, listless existence.
[He clenches his fists tight. The last time... the last time he remembers feeling like this was in that moment when Atsushi pulled him back from the brink of suicide.]
[ Hien stays quiet. He's glad, in a sense, that Hythlo now has a sense of purpose without being consumed by his perpetual sadness. But is this... is this right? Hien knows better than to fret over rights and wrongs, but...
... ]
If that is what you have decided for yourself, I'll support you.
[And, just like that, regular Hythlo is back, a smile breaking over the earlier seriousness like sunrise. He looks... truly hopeful, for the first time.]
Thank you, Hien. It won't be an easy journey, but... I owe it to them. To my friends. To everyone...
[He inclines his head readily for the pat, still smiling. It seems to be partly the high that comes after intense emotions and relief, but at the same time his hopefulness is genuine.]
I am too. I am... so thankful, Hien. I feel like I can... move forward again.
Me too. Moving forward is one of the best things you can do. I'm proud of you.
[ He gives Hythlo a hug for good measure.
Admittedly, it feels a little strange to just... easily solve Hythlo's sadness in such a quick method, but he knows not everything is actually solved. But as long as Hythlo can move forward, that's what should matter more, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 05:46 am (UTC)[He stares at the floor again, stunned by the enormity of the thought. Did that offend him? He's not sure at all how he feels about anything anymore. But at the same time...
Hythlo shakes his head, brings up a hand to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his clothes.]
It... It would make sense. For so long I asked myself why it was that the world turned upon us. What we've done to deserve all the suffering we've gone through, the fate that we barely escaped. But... if there was some will behind it...
[It makes it easier, so much easier... if much harder in other ways. Hythlodaeus goes cold with the realization that maybe--maybe preventing the Final Days would not be enough, if there is something that aims to destroy their world. Once again, would it not be simply dealing with consequences and not the root cause?
He raises his head to look up at Hien, breathing slowly despite the thundering of his heart. In a strange sense, he looks more alive than he has ever done.]
I shall find out.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 05:54 am (UTC)...
He's not sure if this is a good thing. Hien actually looks concerned. ]
Daeus, I... could be wrong, you know.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 06:02 am (UTC)I... I know. I understand. But--
[Hythlo bites his lip.]
Hien, I was... content to just let myself fade away eventually, mayhaps a tad more happily than I would have done otherwise. Or I would have done--something to try and save my world. But what if you are right? What if preventing the Final Days won't change anything? What would be the point of all my effort, then? Of all our efforts? I wish to know the truth. No, I need to know it. It may be horrible. It may break me. But the truth is better than this--this nebulous, listless existence.
[He clenches his fists tight. The last time... the last time he remembers feeling like this was in that moment when Atsushi pulled him back from the brink of suicide.]
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 06:10 am (UTC)... ]
If that is what you have decided for yourself, I'll support you.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 06:17 am (UTC)Thank you, Hien. It won't be an easy journey, but... I owe it to them. To my friends. To everyone...
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 06:20 am (UTC)[ He smiles at Hythlo a little and gives him a gentle pat on the head after adjusting his own position so that he can reach. ]
I'm glad I could help you sort things out.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 06:29 am (UTC)I am too. I am... so thankful, Hien. I feel like I can... move forward again.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 07:13 am (UTC)[ He gives Hythlo a hug for good measure.
Admittedly, it feels a little strange to just... easily solve Hythlo's sadness in such a quick method, but he knows not everything is actually solved. But as long as Hythlo can move forward, that's what should matter more, right?
...
Right? ]