[You are greeted with the sound of randomly disrupted static, at the end of which three melodic beeping signals are heard. Yep, that's your cue to leave a message!]
[He watches the tray curiously - evidently Lahabrea intends for them to speak elsewhere, which... is actually quite a relief. Perhaps Levity could even talk more about the dream if it's in private.
There are other concerns to address first, though, so he'll just focus on those for now.]
I don't know what you said exactly, of course, but... I doubt that he would truly take your words to heart. He is always thinking of you two, and I'm certain that he would take your emotional state into account. But if it worries you, I can try speaking with him to see if he was truly hurt by it.
[He's going to head for the room he shares with Emet and set them up on the comfy couches.]
I would appreciate that. If nothing else perhaps he will confide in you, whether it be hurt or frustration. Certainly I am not the easiest man to work or get along with at times.
[peeks around just to check if Emet is there, for no reason at all, don't mind him]
I shall speak with him, then. But I am still moved to remind you once more that he loves you greatly, even if you might argue at times.
[Reaching to get a cup of tea for himself]
But if you are looking for something a little more specific as a way of making amends... Elidibus wants your respect. Perhaps making some gesture to show you acknowledge him as an equal, that there are things he can guide you on or that you can turn to him for... It might be good for him.
[no reason! look he doesn't know if bread knows or not]
Well, he still worries about it. He seems to feel as though he must always do more and more to make sure he is someone you can respect.
Normally I would suggest something more roundabout, but... why not simply say it to him outright? Elidibus values openness. Tell him what you like, what you admire about him. He is rather confused about things like comfort and relaxation, but I believe he would find it easier to understand appreciation.
[He takes a thoughtful sip.]
And for something more concrete... A game of chess, perhaps? Have him as your opponent. That way he is both your equal and potentially someone who can even outdo you. Not someone who has to keep chasing after you, but someone you acknowledge.
[How come literally everyone but hyth and emet themselves knew. How could that happen.]
I am glad to be of help. When I spoke with him last night, he was quite distraught that you and Hades do not share your troubles with him, and that his attempts to comfort you are brushed aside while you fuss over him instead. So I do think being more open - even if it is about being unable to be open - would help reassure him. I suppose all three of you are rather similar when it comes to taking care of others and neglecting yourselves.
For a bit he obviously contemplates replying with "what of me?", but he can also tell that likely isn't going to fly. Instead, he stares into his cup, then takes another draught.]
Elidibus said something like that in the dream, too. Or rather, he was quite unwilling to let me stay there, even though it made me feel much better than I ever have.
[He has very confused memories of it because if he thinks about it it just makes him want to go sleep in the Zodiark Soup forever.]
I was uncomfortable with it before, too. And worried about you and Hades... and Elidibus after his arrival. But I can't discount the comfort it brings, and so it comes as a surprise that you would not wish to spread it.
Indeed our wills remain largely intact. But it cannot be denied that is not entirely the case. Zodiark would never wish us harm or do us ill, yet to spread His influence would be doing just that.
Elidibus did ask me if I thought that comfort was worth giving up my free will. But ultimately... how does one truly define free will? And is it really a bad thing to give up a measure of it in exchange for security and comfort? People might find it repulsive merely because they do not truly understand. Having any strong conviction that one is guided by, that one clings to... is that not the same as being tempered? Looking to something greater than ourselves to grant us strength and resolve, to shield us from pain, in whatever way that might be.
Not to mention that if you were to think logically, such distaste comes merely from being different. Eliminate those differences, temper everyone, and there would be no need for that discord. Would there?
[anyway here's his motivation letter to apply for an ascian position?]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:10 am (UTC)There are other concerns to address first, though, so he'll just focus on those for now.]
I don't know what you said exactly, of course, but... I doubt that he would truly take your words to heart. He is always thinking of you two, and I'm certain that he would take your emotional state into account. But if it worries you, I can try speaking with him to see if he was truly hurt by it.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:30 am (UTC)I would appreciate that. If nothing else perhaps he will confide in you, whether it be hurt or frustration. Certainly I am not the easiest man to work or get along with at times.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:36 am (UTC)I shall speak with him, then. But I am still moved to remind you once more that he loves you greatly, even if you might argue at times.
[Reaching to get a cup of tea for himself]
But if you are looking for something a little more specific as a way of making amends... Elidibus wants your respect. Perhaps making some gesture to show you acknowledge him as an equal, that there are things he can guide you on or that you can turn to him for... It might be good for him.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:42 am (UTC)He was going to serve Levity but that also works. He'll sit back with his own tea.]
He already has my respect... but did you have something in mind?
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:52 am (UTC)Well, he still worries about it. He seems to feel as though he must always do more and more to make sure he is someone you can respect.
Normally I would suggest something more roundabout, but... why not simply say it to him outright? Elidibus values openness. Tell him what you like, what you admire about him. He is rather confused about things like comfort and relaxation, but I believe he would find it easier to understand appreciation.
[He takes a thoughtful sip.]
And for something more concrete... A game of chess, perhaps? Have him as your opponent. That way he is both your equal and potentially someone who can even outdo you. Not someone who has to keep chasing after you, but someone you acknowledge.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 09:56 am (UTC)He sips his tea thoughtfully, nodding.]
I was right to seek your advice I think. Thank you, your suggestions are quite insightful.
I can but attempt to offer my sincerity in such ways and see how it works.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:02 am (UTC)I am glad to be of help. When I spoke with him last night, he was quite distraught that you and Hades do not share your troubles with him, and that his attempts to comfort you are brushed aside while you fuss over him instead. So I do think being more open - even if it is about being unable to be open - would help reassure him. I suppose all three of you are rather similar when it comes to taking care of others and neglecting yourselves.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:09 am (UTC)[He sighs.]
But you have offered me some valuable insight at least. I thank you for it.
And what of you?
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:13 am (UTC)but then
hm.
For a bit he obviously contemplates replying with "what of me?", but he can also tell that likely isn't going to fly. Instead, he stares into his cup, then takes another draught.]
... As I said. Well enough, if a little... tired.
[Make that VERY tired, but you know.]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:27 am (UTC)Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:29 am (UTC)... I took another memory the other day.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:34 am (UTC)Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:39 am (UTC)[His voice is quiet, a little distant, though he does his best to make it sound more like aloof amusement.]
Now I know what happened to me. And thanks to Elidibus... now I know what came of it, too.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:48 am (UTC)How do you feel about it?
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:50 am (UTC)[FUN LIFEHACK: just ignore feelings. Also, his brain is still stewing in leftover dream Zodiark juice.]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 10:58 am (UTC)Pardon?
[Not that he doesn't also. Just ignore feelings.]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:00 am (UTC)[WHY could that possibly BE]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:07 am (UTC)I have no desire for you to feel grief and trauma at your own fate, but it does concern me, your lack of concern.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:11 am (UTC)[He has very confused memories of it because if he thinks about it it just makes him want to go sleep in the Zodiark Soup forever.]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:15 am (UTC)Still. If it brings you comfort, then it concerns me less for the moment. Should you feel that waning, however, do not hesitate to seek one of us.
I do not know if it would be... harsh for you. But I worry.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:17 am (UTC)That was something Elidibus said, too. That he would not actually wish to temper me. I can't say I understand that hesitation completely.
[How to tell when someone is Not Doing Great: "what's so wrong about brainwashing"]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:27 am (UTC)[You aren't okay at all huh?]
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:30 am (UTC)Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:38 am (UTC)Indeed our wills remain largely intact. But it cannot be denied that is not entirely the case. Zodiark would never wish us harm or do us ill, yet to spread His influence would be doing just that.
Re: Day 437
Date: 2022-01-21 11:46 am (UTC)Not to mention that if you were to think logically, such distaste comes merely from being different. Eliminate those differences, temper everyone, and there would be no need for that discord. Would there?
[anyway here's his motivation letter to apply for an ascian position?]
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