weenwoon | Imeeji IC Inbox

Ah, not at all. I just did not expect it...

[He waves him? her? in.]

Though... I can guess at why you would do this. In which case, thank you.

[ stepping in, carefully taking his shoes off one at a time while balancing the plate with one hand ]

Hahaha, was it that obvious?

[He'll take the plate!! He's a good host! Unlike Certain People We Are Not Going To Talk About.]

Mm... Maybe not as such. But not hard to deduce. And I do appreciate it.

[He gestures to the FiN welcome room hallway.]

Shall we go? I've prepared the tea already.

Yes—please.

[ setting the shoes to the side, before starting to move down the hall, slow enough that levity can take the lead if he wants ]

[He does take the lead! Staying ahead enough to... well, have some distance. He doesn't seem ready to be too close to people.]

Make yourself at home. I think it's quite the cozy place.

[He sits down on the sofa, putting the tray down on the coffee table where there is already a very high-end kettle and two teacups.]

[ happy to keep the distance, sitting himself down roughly the same distance away ]

It's been a while since I last visited—what a nice room.

Oh--you've been here before? To tell the truth, I am not well-versed in the relationships mine and other units have had in the past...

[...]

Well, of course I know some things. But rather few of them.

Ahaha . . . I've been here since this city first opened, so I've many relationships—and besides that, I don't make it a priority to visit regularly; I've visited only as a call of duty rather than a call of friendship, so it's natural that you wouldn't know.

Ah, I see... I hope this visit needn't be only out of duty, however. I've... troubled a fair share of people already.

[He smiles tiredly, taking a cup and pulling his feet up on the sofa to half-curl up.]

...Thank you for visiting. I would like to reiterate that... you truly haven't anything to apologize for. If this is about what I think it's about, of course.

[...]

I... do not mind speaking of it. Some of it. But I would ask you to avoid mentioning his name.

It is, in part, duty, but in part it is borne from a selfish desire of mine—to know that you, a person that I'd like to become friends with, have been hurt by one of my countenance, and moreover by one of my relationships, is something that weighs deeply on me.

To speak nothing of the guilt, it is that I wished to reach out to you because I, quite selfishly, did not want our relationship to be strangled by that time.

[ a little softer, gaze falling to the teacups ]

. . . And, because I'm no stranger to pain.

Above all, it is no burden—Levity-san. If anything, I'm grateful to you for allowing me here.

['Strangled'. He closes his eyes at the word - it's neither the worst reminder nor the worst reaction he could have, but... well, it still makes him remember.]

...I'm... sorry that you have been hurt, too. By him, I assume.

...D.Va did not seem surprised, however... She said that it was, er, you being yourself. That was worrying.

Ah—

[ pauses, giving a sheepish sort of laugh ]

. . . She isn't wrong. At least for myself, it was of my own volition. But, those with more regard for life and personal wellbeing than I would find it to be disturbing at the very least.

[yeah get dunked on luci

Levity stays silent for a time, then breathes out slowly.]

To tell you the truth... before, I would have agreed with you. I, too, have offered some of myself before... rather gladly. I was sympathetic. I wanted...

[He cuts off. Heavens, he was so naive.]

...I was an idiot. Much like everyone said.

. . .

[ listening to him, quiet for a few beats ]

Might I ask, what happened . . . ?

[He takes a deep breath, anxiety churning his stomach. It felt impossible to even remember at first, but... maybe he can come closer to putting it into words.

Heavens, it's still an ordeal, though.]

...You've... visited his mind too, yes? Which... places did you go to?

. . . I sought to eliminate the infestation in his heart. Thus, I went to the kitchen, the dungeon, the field . . . and the barred room.

[Breathe in, breathe out.]

...the last one. There was--the closet, that I thought to be the source...

[ damn

thank god he decided to go for the bed first. ]

. . . He was inside, wasn't he?

[ :')

Levity feels that familiar dizziness again, brings up a hand to cover his eyes. Still... breathe in, breathe out. He can ground himself better these days.

Breathe in, breathe out. He's alive. No hands on his throat. He can feel the warmth of the cup in his hands, the scent of the tea. He's... alive.

Slowly, Levity nods.]

...all that is worst about him. Or perhaps... simply his true nature.

. . .

Before this, you were friends with him, were you not . . . ?

[Wowee he needs a drink actually. Unfortunately, tea is the strongest thing they have right now.]

...Yes. And maybe more than friends.

[It was the standard imeeji relationship of half fwb, half dating, ok.]

I'm sorry.

[ a pause

softer, ]

. . . I don't believe what you knew of him was any less his nature than what you endured in that place.

[Levity stays silent for a while, motionless... before slowly, carefully setting down his cup back onto the coffee table and just as slowly curling up to hug his knees to his chest and cry. He wouldn't even really be able to articulate why, exactly - it's a very tangled matter; being unable still to let go of his hurt, being exhausted by holding onto anger, having precious little else to hold onto, the guilt and weakness and desire for it to never have happened and heartbreak from seeing Lily and D.Va so devastated by his state.]

That is by no means an excuse, or a reason to think less of that time. But it is possible to be so kind and so cruel.

[ after a few moments, he stands himself up—carefully, from the space that he's in, he takes his shawl off to drape it over levity's shoulders, careful to avoid covering his head and doing his best not to get too close or to move too suddenly. he's certain levity couldn't deal with physical touch, but at least his shawl is warm. ]

I'm sorry, Levity-san. I know it hurts—to be so hurt, so deeply, by someone you loved and trusted.

[In a sense, the shawl does help. Levity wraps it around himself, almost without realizing it, as he sobs helplessly. He hasn't really let himself cry like this, yet - everyone else who's come to console him after this was close to Absinthe, and Levity couldn't quite let himself have the same level of vulnerability with them. And as for Lily and D.Va... The last thing he wanted was to add to their burdens. A selfish desire in this situation, maybe, but he would do anything to spare them a little bit of despair.

And in a way, it's... good to have someone who does understand. He did care for Absinthe greatly, and didn't want to believe that he would want to hurt him--until it was too late. And of course a part of him hopes that it wasn't really real, that it's not the way Absinthe truly sees him, but--

Levity shakes his head as he cries, voice choked with his sobs.]

I... I'm not the first... He's--done this before, to someone else, and I...

[Does he really have reason to trust Absinthe anymore? To think that the man ever did care for him? He's not the first to endure this particular kind of abuse from him, and the thought that he might not be the last leaves him utterly shaken and devastated.]

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