[You are greeted with the sound of randomly disrupted static, at the end of which three melodic beeping signals are heard. Yep, that's your cue to leave a message!]
Still TRYING not to cry though but he's. Obviously tense. Listen he's been like AGONIZING over this ever since that day and Elidibus is the first person whose judgement he can actually trust on the matter?]
That was the biggest obstacle, I think. Being frightened to disagree. Not knowing if in the end I would live at all, or have a place in the world they wish to create.
...I must confess, I do at times worry. There will be no room for violence or cruelty in the restored world. Would not our presence, tainted as we are, be unseemly?
Then... when that happens, please seek me out. So I can help you remember it's not true.
[...]
I know it must sound hypocritical just after I've told you I struggle to understand Lahabrea and Emet-Selch in the harsher matters, but...
[He shakes his head.]
I'm sorry. This place fills me with fear, and that fear clouds my mind. Here, I am an outlier. A weak link. And weakness costs you your life, or... or worse. And so I fear, and in the fear fight back - sometimes, no, oftentimes blindly. But despite that... I know and I believe that you desire a peaceful world as much as I do. And I know that your harsher actions come not from willing or innate cruelty, but from the scars piled up on you over the course of these twelve millennia. If I were to call you tainted for that... It would be the same as saying that any who feel pain are tainted and wrong. And wouldn't that include myself?
Of course, I would never doubt the righteousness of our cause. I know that all we have done has been necessary for the salvation of our star. I know we are not wrong.
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Date: 2021-12-17 02:59 am (UTC)Are we truly that awkward...?
[the answer is yes]
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Date: 2021-12-17 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 03:03 am (UTC)it's not like he can deny that]
I wish you the best of luck in your efforts.
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Date: 2021-12-17 03:23 am (UTC)I shall certainly do my best. I just hope we never have cause for real arguments or misunderstandings.
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Date: 2021-12-17 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:02 am (UTC)Elidibus... What would you do if, in the end, I came to oppose you? Would you kill me?
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Date: 2021-12-17 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:07 am (UTC)It was something Emet-Selch said to me. That if I stood in his way, he would not hesitate to tear me down.
[As you can imagine that sure was A Thing to hear as a mostly-amnesiac uncertain of what the fuck is going on with him and the others.]
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Date: 2021-12-17 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:19 am (UTC)Still TRYING not to cry though but he's. Obviously tense. Listen he's been like AGONIZING over this ever since that day and Elidibus is the first person whose judgement he can actually trust on the matter?]
... thank you.
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Date: 2021-12-17 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 04:47 am (UTC)Do you see what I mean when I say we're all very awkward?
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:17 am (UTC)[pats his back]
Is there ought else that has been weighing on you thus?
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:26 am (UTC)That was the biggest obstacle, I think. Being frightened to disagree. Not knowing if in the end I would live at all, or have a place in the world they wish to create.
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 08:35 am (UTC)... Don't be ridiculous. Of course you will.
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 08:45 am (UTC)... You are not 'tainted', nor unseemly. Please do not speak of yourselves like that.
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:50 am (UTC)My apologies. You are correct, I should not say such things.
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Date: 2021-12-17 08:59 am (UTC)... But will you still think such things?
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Date: 2021-12-17 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-12-17 09:20 am (UTC)[...]
I know it must sound hypocritical just after I've told you I struggle to understand Lahabrea and Emet-Selch in the harsher matters, but...
[He shakes his head.]
I'm sorry. This place fills me with fear, and that fear clouds my mind. Here, I am an outlier. A weak link. And weakness costs you your life, or... or worse. And so I fear, and in the fear fight back - sometimes, no, oftentimes blindly. But despite that... I know and I believe that you desire a peaceful world as much as I do. And I know that your harsher actions come not from willing or innate cruelty, but from the scars piled up on you over the course of these twelve millennia. If I were to call you tainted for that... It would be the same as saying that any who feel pain are tainted and wrong. And wouldn't that include myself?
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Date: 2021-12-17 01:49 pm (UTC)And yet, sometimes...
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