[You are greeted with the sound of randomly disrupted static, at the end of which three melodic beeping signals are heard. Yep, that's your cue to leave a message!]
Valour 5: I'm sorry Valour 5: For yelling at you and for placing unreasonable expectations on you Valour 5: You can't understand me if I don't explain myself clearly and that's not your fault, it's mine Valour 5: I'm not ready to talk to you again in person but I don't want Luther or Hades to feel as though one day they'll have to choose between one of us. So we have to resolve this one way another. Valour 5: And it isn't as if I hate you anyway, I just need time for myself Valour 5: Regardless of my worries in regards to Alexander, I know you weren't telling me I'm a bad brother Valour 5: But the fact of the matter is that I am Valour 5: All I know of my siblings come from what little I remember of the 13 years we spent together and what's written in Vanya's book. They've had a lifetime without me and I'm barely able to hold a normal conversation with them now that we don't have to stop the world from ending. Valour 5: I'm trying to figure out what to do with our relationship Valour 5: If I'm telling you to leave something alone, that's me telling you I can't handle it Valour 5: If you push forward despite me saying that, that just ends up hurting me Valour 5: The more you fo that the more I feel trapped and the harder I push back Valour 5: Which is how we got into this situation to begin with Valour 5: I know you're a good person, and that you care not just about Luther and Hades, but about myself as well Valour 5: But I need space Valour 5: You said you wanted to understand me so that's why I'm writing this. I have nothing else to say.
There's a good hour or so that passes after the messages are marked as read before Levity starts typing.]
Accomplice: Thank you for messaging me. Accomplice: I ought to apologize as well. Cardinal finally managed to explain why what I said sounded like meddling to you, too, and I'm sorry about that. I did not understand at the time. Accomplice: I... don't readily understand a lot of things in regard to mortal perception and ways of approaching things. I do want to learn but there is much that is alien to me, that I cannot grasp immediately. Accomplice: I agree that it is probably best if we do not speak face to face for a time, just in case. It's much harder for me to think what I say through on the spot. Accomplice: I've spoken with others and they helped me figure out that on my end I feel defensive whenever you tell me I don't know or understand anything about Alexander. Accomplice: This is... not meant to blame you, I just want to explain why I get snappy, too. Accomplice: Between my lack of memories, the general shock of finding myself in such an unfamiliar place as this, the initial barriers that Cosmo and Alexander put up and now the knowledge that I am dead I feel very Accomplice: Alienated is the word, I suppose. Alone. Accomplice: The feeling worsens when you tell me I don't know or understand anything, especially when I think that me and Hades have made quite a bit of progress. Accomplice: It leaves me feeling like what I think or feel doesn't matter; a power imbalance of sorts. In retaliation, and to restore that balance in my mind at the very least, I try to push back.
Valour 5: I never said that you don't understand Alexander. That you're different and you've had different experiences is something else entirely. Valour 5: If that's how my words came across then I apologize for that, too Valour 5: You are his most important friend, memories or no memories Valour 5: That's never going to change Valour 5: I understand this place is vastly different from what you are used to and that your blunders have more to do with cluelessness than maliciousness Valour 5: I will make an effort to explain why I want you to drop something should this happen again, and to be more understanding and patient
Accomplice: Thank you. I will do the same. Accomplice: I think part of it was that I was somewhat misled by my interactions with others. Accomplice: Since... well, you've told me to be less polite. And that Alexander helped you get over your dislike of physical contact by ignoring your discomfort. And Alexander himself tried to nudge me into making Sunny upset for the sake of his personal development, as he put it. Vergil and Jason have both told me to stop worrying about their feelings so much. Accomplice: And bluntness often seems to be both detested and prized as a trait here, perhaps because so many need to be forced to open up? Accomplice: So I misjudged how I should act with you. Accomplice: This is something I really don't understand. The attitude towards bluntness, I mean.
Valour 5: You just ended up ignoring me on my biggest "don't touch" button. Valour 5: Physical touch was and still is something I'm not used to but I did long for. Alexander ignoring my discomfort allowed me to get used to it. Valour 5: But you on the other hand went and poked a hornet's nest Valour 5: There's nuance to where and when you can push things and with whom. You cannot assume it's always appropriate to be blunt and pushy because some people responded positively to that Valour 5: Even I am not always blunt despite what I say Valour 5: You can try and then if someone doesn't go apeshit on you then it's fine Valour 5: If they go apeshit on you it's likely not fine
Accomplice: I see... Accomplice: Thank you for explaining. I'll keep it in mind. Accomplice: Though I think I'm all blunted out for the foreseeable future, anyway. Accomplice: I'm sorry for hurting you and ignoring your discomfort, too.
Accomplice: Well Accomplice: Now that I understand better I think I can actually say that I won't do it again. Accomplice: And I'll know to respect your boundaries.
[He types for some more time, but then seemingly decides against it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weenwoon
Day 355
Date: 2021-04-24 11:47 pm (UTC)Valour 5: For yelling at you and for placing unreasonable expectations on you
Valour 5: You can't understand me if I don't explain myself clearly and that's not your fault, it's mine
Valour 5: I'm not ready to talk to you again in person but I don't want Luther or Hades to feel as though one day they'll have to choose between one of us. So we have to resolve this one way another.
Valour 5: And it isn't as if I hate you anyway, I just need time for myself
Valour 5: Regardless of my worries in regards to Alexander, I know you weren't telling me I'm a bad brother
Valour 5: But the fact of the matter is that I am
Valour 5: All I know of my siblings come from what little I remember of the 13 years we spent together and what's written in Vanya's book. They've had a lifetime without me and I'm barely able to hold a normal conversation with them now that we don't have to stop the world from ending.
Valour 5: I'm trying to figure out what to do with our relationship
Valour 5: If I'm telling you to leave something alone, that's me telling you I can't handle it
Valour 5: If you push forward despite me saying that, that just ends up hurting me
Valour 5: The more you fo that the more I feel trapped and the harder I push back
Valour 5: Which is how we got into this situation to begin with
Valour 5: I know you're a good person, and that you care not just about Luther and Hades, but about myself as well
Valour 5: But I need space
Valour 5: You said you wanted to understand me so that's why I'm writing this. I have nothing else to say.
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 09:55 am (UTC)IS FIVE DRUNK? IS HE DRUNK? WHAT IS GOING ON
There's a good hour or so that passes after the messages are marked as read before Levity starts typing.]
Accomplice: Thank you for messaging me.
Accomplice: I ought to apologize as well. Cardinal finally managed to explain why what I said sounded like meddling to you, too, and I'm sorry about that. I did not understand at the time.
Accomplice: I... don't readily understand a lot of things in regard to mortal perception and ways of approaching things. I do want to learn but there is much that is alien to me, that I cannot grasp immediately.
Accomplice: I agree that it is probably best if we do not speak face to face for a time, just in case. It's much harder for me to think what I say through on the spot.
Accomplice: I've spoken with others and they helped me figure out that on my end I feel defensive whenever you tell me I don't know or understand anything about Alexander.
Accomplice: This is... not meant to blame you, I just want to explain why I get snappy, too.
Accomplice: Between my lack of memories, the general shock of finding myself in such an unfamiliar place as this, the initial barriers that Cosmo and Alexander put up and now the knowledge that I am dead I feel very
Accomplice: Alienated is the word, I suppose. Alone.
Accomplice: The feeling worsens when you tell me I don't know or understand anything, especially when I think that me and Hades have made quite a bit of progress.
Accomplice: It leaves me feeling like what I think or feel doesn't matter; a power imbalance of sorts. In retaliation, and to restore that balance in my mind at the very least, I try to push back.
Accomplice is typing...
Accomplice: I suppose that's most of it.
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 10:07 am (UTC)Valour 5: If that's how my words came across then I apologize for that, too
Valour 5: You are his most important friend, memories or no memories
Valour 5: That's never going to change
Valour 5: I understand this place is vastly different from what you are used to and that your blunders have more to do with cluelessness than maliciousness
Valour 5: I will make an effort to explain why I want you to drop something should this happen again, and to be more understanding and patient
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 10:21 am (UTC)Accomplice: Thank you. I will do the same.
Accomplice: I think part of it was that I was somewhat misled by my interactions with others.
Accomplice: Since... well, you've told me to be less polite. And that Alexander helped you get over your dislike of physical contact by ignoring your discomfort. And Alexander himself tried to nudge me into making Sunny upset for the sake of his personal development, as he put it. Vergil and Jason have both told me to stop worrying about their feelings so much.
Accomplice: And bluntness often seems to be both detested and prized as a trait here, perhaps because so many need to be forced to open up?
Accomplice: So I misjudged how I should act with you.
Accomplice: This is something I really don't understand. The attitude towards bluntness, I mean.
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 10:26 am (UTC)Valour 5: Physical touch was and still is something I'm not used to but I did long for. Alexander ignoring my discomfort allowed me to get used to it.
Valour 5: But you on the other hand went and poked a hornet's nest
Valour 5: There's nuance to where and when you can push things and with whom. You cannot assume it's always appropriate to be blunt and pushy because some people responded positively to that
Valour 5: Even I am not always blunt despite what I say
Valour 5: You can try and then if someone doesn't go apeshit on you then it's fine
Valour 5: If they go apeshit on you it's likely not fine
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 10:35 am (UTC)Accomplice: Thank you for explaining. I'll keep it in mind.
Accomplice: Though I think I'm all blunted out for the foreseeable future, anyway.
Accomplice: I'm sorry for hurting you and ignoring your discomfort, too.
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 01:36 pm (UTC)Valour 5: But I appreciate it
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 01:49 pm (UTC)Accomplice: Now that I understand better I think I can actually say that I won't do it again.
Accomplice: And I'll know to respect your boundaries.
[He types for some more time, but then seemingly decides against it.]
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-25 03:24 pm (UTC)Valour 5: See you around, Levity
Re: Day 355
Date: 2021-04-26 01:36 am (UTC)[now go have fun having Extra Family around ✨]