weenwoon | Imeeji IC Inbox

[No reason for looking for his boyfriend!

He was going to serve Levity but that also works. He'll sit back with his own tea.]

He already has my respect... but did you have something in mind?

[no reason! look he doesn't know if bread knows or not]

Well, he still worries about it. He seems to feel as though he must always do more and more to make sure he is someone you can respect.

Normally I would suggest something more roundabout, but... why not simply say it to him outright? Elidibus values openness. Tell him what you like, what you admire about him. He is rather confused about things like comfort and relaxation, but I believe he would find it easier to understand appreciation.

[He takes a thoughtful sip.]

And for something more concrete... A game of chess, perhaps? Have him as your opponent. That way he is both your equal and potentially someone who can even outdo you. Not someone who has to keep chasing after you, but someone you acknowledge.

[He doesn't know anything current but he did kind of always assume it was a matter of time.

He sips his tea thoughtfully, nodding.]

I was right to seek your advice I think. Thank you, your suggestions are quite insightful.

I can but attempt to offer my sincerity in such ways and see how it works.

[How come literally everyone but hyth and emet themselves knew. How could that happen.]

I am glad to be of help. When I spoke with him last night, he was quite distraught that you and Hades do not share your troubles with him, and that his attempts to comfort you are brushed aside while you fuss over him instead. So I do think being more open - even if it is about being unable to be open - would help reassure him. I suppose all three of you are rather similar when it comes to taking care of others and neglecting yourselves.

We are far too similar in the worst of ways.

[He sighs.]

But you have offered me some valuable insight at least. I thank you for it.

And what of you?

[Reaches out to pat Bread on the knee

but then

hm.

For a bit he obviously contemplates replying with "what of me?", but he can also tell that likely isn't going to fly. Instead, he stares into his cup, then takes another draught.]

... As I said. Well enough, if a little... tired.

[Make that VERY tired, but you know.]

That is certainly understandable. I will not press if you do not wish to speak, but I will listen if you do.

[Stares into the cup for... a while, gaze a little vacant. He seems to be weighing whether to talk about it or not, but eventually he does speak.]

... I took another memory the other day.

What was it of?

My final farewell with Hades.

[His voice is quiet, a little distant, though he does his best to make it sound more like aloof amusement.]

Now I know what happened to me. And thanks to Elidibus... now I know what came of it, too.

... That is quite a lot to remember and experience, Hythlodaeus.

How do you feel about it?

I don't.

[FUN LIFEHACK: just ignore feelings. Also, his brain is still stewing in leftover dream Zodiark juice.]

[Buddy.]

Pardon?

[Not that he doesn't also. Just ignore feelings.]

Surprising, isn't it? I'd have expected myself to be more shocked, too. But I feel quite content, really.

[WHY could that possibly BE]

...I wonder if that is a combination of shock and lingering influence.

I have no desire for you to feel grief and trauma at your own fate, but it does concern me, your lack of concern.

Elidibus said something like that in the dream, too. Or rather, he was quite unwilling to let me stay there, even though it made me feel much better than I ever have.

[He has very confused memories of it because if he thinks about it it just makes him want to go sleep in the Zodiark Soup forever.]

Of course he would feel concern. None of us wish for you to be tempered.

Still. If it brings you comfort, then it concerns me less for the moment. Should you feel that waning, however, do not hesitate to seek one of us.

I do not know if it would be... harsh for you. But I worry.

[He tips his head thoughtfully.]

That was something Elidibus said, too. That he would not actually wish to temper me. I can't say I understand that hesitation completely.

[How to tell when someone is Not Doing Great: "what's so wrong about brainwashing"]

... Can you not? Most are vehemently repulsed by the concept.

[You aren't okay at all huh?]

I was uncomfortable with it before, too. And worried about you and Hades... and Elidibus after his arrival. But I can't discount the comfort it brings, and so it comes as a surprise that you would not wish to spread it.

You know that comfort comes with a steep cost.

Indeed our wills remain largely intact. But it cannot be denied that is not entirely the case. Zodiark would never wish us harm or do us ill, yet to spread His influence would be doing just that.

Elidibus did ask me if I thought that comfort was worth giving up my free will. But ultimately... how does one truly define free will? And is it really a bad thing to give up a measure of it in exchange for security and comfort? People might find it repulsive merely because they do not truly understand. Having any strong conviction that one is guided by, that one clings to... is that not the same as being tempered? Looking to something greater than ourselves to grant us strength and resolve, to shield us from pain, in whatever way that might be.

Not to mention that if you were to think logically, such distaste comes merely from being different. Eliminate those differences, temper everyone, and there would be no need for that discord. Would there?

[anyway here's his motivation letter to apply for an ascian position?]

[He sets his tea down, takes Hythlodaeus's hand gently to remove the tea from it and set it down as well, then pulls the man into a hug, if he can, trying to get Hythlodaeus to tuck his face against his chest or shoulder.]

[???? :) what's up with this, he was having a good time and doing great? He doesn't resist at all, though, hugging him back easily, resting his head on Lahabrea's shoulder... laughing into it.]

Lahabrea, what are you doing? Not that I don't appreciate the contact, of course...

[But why would u want to hug him... like he's sad or upset... ??? :) ]

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437

1/2

Re: Day 437

Re: Day 437