[He listens, breathing quietly, anxiety churning his gut. A part of him does want to believe that Absinthe cares for him in truth, that it was just... some outside influence. But it's so hard to separate whether that is what he truly wants to think or if it's just that terrified part of him, the one that hoped that belief can replace reality, that if he pretends enough it won't hurt as much, it won't damage him as badly.
It's a tangled mess, but unfortunately the last part just makes it worse. Levity stares at the floor, unseeing, feeling an abyss open up within him. He didn't... even find the actual source of the corruption, then. It was all for nothing. The stupidest mistake he could have made, and now he doesn't even have the shield of having tried to help. He was just... an idiot.
Slowly, he transfers his gaze to the cup in his hand. Maybe if he breaks it he will end up with a piece sharp enough to cut his throat with again. Or... the teaspoon... make into a knife--or, ahah, a nail, stab himself again, however painful it was, and being unable to even scream, and the blood in his lungs, and...]
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cw suicidal shit baybey!!!!
Date: 2021-02-14 10:41 am (UTC)It's a tangled mess, but unfortunately the last part just makes it worse. Levity stares at the floor, unseeing, feeling an abyss open up within him. He didn't... even find the actual source of the corruption, then. It was all for nothing. The stupidest mistake he could have made, and now he doesn't even have the shield of having tried to help. He was just... an idiot.
Slowly, he transfers his gaze to the cup in his hand. Maybe if he breaks it he will end up with a piece sharp enough to cut his throat with again. Or... the teaspoon... make into a knife--or, ahah, a nail, stab himself again, however painful it was, and being unable to even scream, and the blood in his lungs, and...]