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[Levity is very tall but very soft! He lights up at the snack attack - he's been, well, having to make changes to his diet lately, but sweets work for the most things.]
Ah, you needn't have, but that is very sweet of you.
[He thinks for a moment, and then smiles.]
Quite literally!
Ah, you needn't have, but that is very sweet of you.
[He thinks for a moment, and then smiles.]
Quite literally!
[ happy to keep the distance, sitting himself down roughly the same distance away ]
It's been a while since I last visited—what a nice room.
It's been a while since I last visited—what a nice room.
Ahaha . . . I've been here since this city first opened, so I've many relationships—and besides that, I don't make it a priority to visit regularly; I've visited only as a call of duty rather than a call of friendship, so it's natural that you wouldn't know.
Ah, I see... I hope this visit needn't be only out of duty, however. I've... troubled a fair share of people already.
[He smiles tiredly, taking a cup and pulling his feet up on the sofa to half-curl up.]
...Thank you for visiting. I would like to reiterate that... you truly haven't anything to apologize for. If this is about what I think it's about, of course.
[...]
I... do not mind speaking of it. Some of it. But I would ask you to avoid mentioning his name.
[He smiles tiredly, taking a cup and pulling his feet up on the sofa to half-curl up.]
...Thank you for visiting. I would like to reiterate that... you truly haven't anything to apologize for. If this is about what I think it's about, of course.
[...]
I... do not mind speaking of it. Some of it. But I would ask you to avoid mentioning his name.
Oh please, it was no trouble at all!
[ Calling her sweet just makes her fluster. ]
There's fresh fruit and custard in them.
[ Gently thrusts the box into his hands. ]
So please, help yourself!
[ Calling her sweet just makes her fluster. ]
There's fresh fruit and custard in them.
[ Gently thrusts the box into his hands. ]
So please, help yourself!
It is, in part, duty, but in part it is borne from a selfish desire of mine—to know that you, a person that I'd like to become friends with, have been hurt by one of my countenance, and moreover by one of my relationships, is something that weighs deeply on me.
To speak nothing of the guilt, it is that I wished to reach out to you because I, quite selfishly, did not want our relationship to be strangled by that time.
[ a little softer, gaze falling to the teacups ]
. . . And, because I'm no stranger to pain.
Above all, it is no burden—Levity-san. If anything, I'm grateful to you for allowing me here.
To speak nothing of the guilt, it is that I wished to reach out to you because I, quite selfishly, did not want our relationship to be strangled by that time.
[ a little softer, gaze falling to the teacups ]
. . . And, because I'm no stranger to pain.
Above all, it is no burden—Levity-san. If anything, I'm grateful to you for allowing me here.
['Strangled'. He closes his eyes at the word - it's neither the worst reminder nor the worst reaction he could have, but... well, it still makes him remember.]
...I'm... sorry that you have been hurt, too. By him, I assume.
...D.Va did not seem surprised, however... She said that it was, er, you being yourself. That was worrying.
...I'm... sorry that you have been hurt, too. By him, I assume.
...D.Va did not seem surprised, however... She said that it was, er, you being yourself. That was worrying.
Ah—
[ pauses, giving a sheepish sort of laugh ]
. . . She isn't wrong. At least for myself, it was of my own volition. But, those with more regard for life and personal wellbeing than I would find it to be disturbing at the very least.
[ pauses, giving a sheepish sort of laugh ]
. . . She isn't wrong. At least for myself, it was of my own volition. But, those with more regard for life and personal wellbeing than I would find it to be disturbing at the very least.
[yeah get dunked on luci
Levity stays silent for a time, then breathes out slowly.]
To tell you the truth... before, I would have agreed with you. I, too, have offered some of myself before... rather gladly. I was sympathetic. I wanted...
[He cuts off. Heavens, he was so naive.]
...I was an idiot. Much like everyone said.
Levity stays silent for a time, then breathes out slowly.]
To tell you the truth... before, I would have agreed with you. I, too, have offered some of myself before... rather gladly. I was sympathetic. I wanted...
[He cuts off. Heavens, he was so naive.]
...I was an idiot. Much like everyone said.
. . .
[ listening to him, quiet for a few beats ]
Might I ask, what happened . . . ?
[ listening to him, quiet for a few beats ]
Might I ask, what happened . . . ?
[He takes a deep breath, anxiety churning his stomach. It felt impossible to even remember at first, but... maybe he can come closer to putting it into words.
Heavens, it's still an ordeal, though.]
...You've... visited his mind too, yes? Which... places did you go to?
Heavens, it's still an ordeal, though.]
...You've... visited his mind too, yes? Which... places did you go to?
. . . I sought to eliminate the infestation in his heart. Thus, I went to the kitchen, the dungeon, the field . . . and the barred room.
[ damn
thank god he decided to go for the bed first. ]
. . . He was inside, wasn't he?
thank god he decided to go for the bed first. ]
. . . He was inside, wasn't he?
[ :')
Levity feels that familiar dizziness again, brings up a hand to cover his eyes. Still... breathe in, breathe out. He can ground himself better these days.
Breathe in, breathe out. He's alive. No hands on his throat. He can feel the warmth of the cup in his hands, the scent of the tea. He's... alive.
Slowly, Levity nods.]
...all that is worst about him. Or perhaps... simply his true nature.
Levity feels that familiar dizziness again, brings up a hand to cover his eyes. Still... breathe in, breathe out. He can ground himself better these days.
Breathe in, breathe out. He's alive. No hands on his throat. He can feel the warmth of the cup in his hands, the scent of the tea. He's... alive.
Slowly, Levity nods.]
...all that is worst about him. Or perhaps... simply his true nature.
. . .
Before this, you were friends with him, were you not . . . ?
Before this, you were friends with him, were you not . . . ?
I'm sorry.
[ a pause
softer, ]
. . . I don't believe what you knew of him was any less his nature than what you endured in that place.
[ a pause
softer, ]
. . . I don't believe what you knew of him was any less his nature than what you endured in that place.
[Levity stays silent for a while, motionless... before slowly, carefully setting down his cup back onto the coffee table and just as slowly curling up to hug his knees to his chest and cry. He wouldn't even really be able to articulate why, exactly - it's a very tangled matter; being unable still to let go of his hurt, being exhausted by holding onto anger, having precious little else to hold onto, the guilt and weakness and desire for it to never have happened and heartbreak from seeing Lily and D.Va so devastated by his state.]
That is by no means an excuse, or a reason to think less of that time. But it is possible to be so kind and so cruel.
[ after a few moments, he stands himself up—carefully, from the space that he's in, he takes his shawl off to drape it over levity's shoulders, careful to avoid covering his head and doing his best not to get too close or to move too suddenly. he's certain levity couldn't deal with physical touch, but at least his shawl is warm. ]
I'm sorry, Levity-san. I know it hurts—to be so hurt, so deeply, by someone you loved and trusted.
[ after a few moments, he stands himself up—carefully, from the space that he's in, he takes his shawl off to drape it over levity's shoulders, careful to avoid covering his head and doing his best not to get too close or to move too suddenly. he's certain levity couldn't deal with physical touch, but at least his shawl is warm. ]
I'm sorry, Levity-san. I know it hurts—to be so hurt, so deeply, by someone you loved and trusted.
[In a sense, the shawl does help. Levity wraps it around himself, almost without realizing it, as he sobs helplessly. He hasn't really let himself cry like this, yet - everyone else who's come to console him after this was close to Absinthe, and Levity couldn't quite let himself have the same level of vulnerability with them. And as for Lily and D.Va... The last thing he wanted was to add to their burdens. A selfish desire in this situation, maybe, but he would do anything to spare them a little bit of despair.
And in a way, it's... good to have someone who does understand. He did care for Absinthe greatly, and didn't want to believe that he would want to hurt him--until it was too late. And of course a part of him hopes that it wasn't really real, that it's not the way Absinthe truly sees him, but--
Levity shakes his head as he cries, voice choked with his sobs.]
I... I'm not the first... He's--done this before, to someone else, and I...
[Does he really have reason to trust Absinthe anymore? To think that the man ever did care for him? He's not the first to endure this particular kind of abuse from him, and the thought that he might not be the last leaves him utterly shaken and devastated.]
And in a way, it's... good to have someone who does understand. He did care for Absinthe greatly, and didn't want to believe that he would want to hurt him--until it was too late. And of course a part of him hopes that it wasn't really real, that it's not the way Absinthe truly sees him, but--
Levity shakes his head as he cries, voice choked with his sobs.]
I... I'm not the first... He's--done this before, to someone else, and I...
[Does he really have reason to trust Absinthe anymore? To think that the man ever did care for him? He's not the first to endure this particular kind of abuse from him, and the thought that he might not be the last leaves him utterly shaken and devastated.]
[Good, he's out here unintentionally charming people three sentences into a convo. He takes the box with a smile before gesturing in the direction of the welcome room.]
That sounds lovely! Do come in, and we can share them. I would feel bad eating by myself, after all...
That sounds lovely! Do come in, and we can share them. I would feel bad eating by myself, after all...
cw sexual assault talk thru this thread btw i forgot. also cannibalism imagery cuz lucifel is fucked
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maidenheaven
2021-02-13 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
No, you aren't.
[ and honestly, though he doesn't know levity well he can tell that he's gentle, naive, a star at the least and certainly the sun of one would let him be so close—and it pains him to know how absinthe has hurt this gentle star, too young and almost assuredly not with the means to carry himself through something as painful as this.
(but he is not surprised; carnivores have a nose for the easiest prey, and while he's certain absinthe of all people would be more careful with someone precious to the ascians, pure predatory instinct—for what else could be in that closet but the husk of a man's darkest desires, fueled (if not poisoned) to pursue his need without care for even the closest loved one—could not resist an easy meal.
the bitter truth is that there are those that eat, and those that are eaten, and levity knew not how wide absinthe's maw is, nor how deep of a bite he could take if invited to just take the one.)
more softly he speaks, ]
. . . Is he aware?
[ and honestly, though he doesn't know levity well he can tell that he's gentle, naive, a star at the least and certainly the sun of one would let him be so close—and it pains him to know how absinthe has hurt this gentle star, too young and almost assuredly not with the means to carry himself through something as painful as this.
(but he is not surprised; carnivores have a nose for the easiest prey, and while he's certain absinthe of all people would be more careful with someone precious to the ascians, pure predatory instinct—for what else could be in that closet but the husk of a man's darkest desires, fueled (if not poisoned) to pursue his need without care for even the closest loved one—could not resist an easy meal.
the bitter truth is that there are those that eat, and those that are eaten, and levity knew not how wide absinthe's maw is, nor how deep of a bite he could take if invited to just take the one.)
more softly he speaks, ]
. . . Is he aware?
[fun fact absinthe himself compared levity to the sun, so,
Levity only tenses up at the further confirmation that he's not the first. And Absinthe wanted him to be understanding about it? To understand the reason behind it? As if "I want to" is any kind of a worthy reason, as if it's anything other than greed and disregard for others--
He tries to breathe deeply to calm down, fingers digging into his scalp.]
...I-- I've no idea. I do not... I couldn't... I-I can barely handle the mention of his name, much less speaking to him.
Levity only tenses up at the further confirmation that he's not the first. And Absinthe wanted him to be understanding about it? To understand the reason behind it? As if "I want to" is any kind of a worthy reason, as if it's anything other than greed and disregard for others--
He tries to breathe deeply to calm down, fingers digging into his scalp.]
...I-- I've no idea. I do not... I couldn't... I-I can barely handle the mention of his name, much less speaking to him.
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